Resolve is one of my favorite words. The word just “feels” like toughness, doesn’t it? The online Merriam-Webster dictionary has several meanings for the word “resolve.” At the first of the year, many people reflect back and look ahead. They take into account their successes and failures, their regrets, and they plan ahead for a change. They resolve to do things differently.
But for most people, New Year’s resolutions don’t last. A survey put together by Forbes‘ website found that 8% of people found their resolutions lasted a month, while 21.9% announced their resolutions lasted two months. The survey found that the average resolution – a total of 22.2% of people – lasted just 3.74 months. Only 1% of the people were able to keep their resolution for the entire year. Why such a low number?
When the students in my speech class begin to talk about persuasion, we discuss that a person can be persuaded to think differently about a subject, to feel differently about a subject, and to do something differently about a subject. We talk about which is the most difficult and how to successfully accomplish each.
So most people resolve to “do” something in the coming year. They want to lose weight, or promise to exercise at the gym. But, as we just discovered, most people are not successful. What could happen to increase the chances for success?
Things to Resolve to Consider
There are several things that we need to consider. First, understand that changing behavior is a process. You cannot change behavior until you first change thinking and then change your feelings. If I want to begin to consistently exercise, I must first change how I think about exercising and then how I feel about exercising.
Second, I must clearly define my purpose and my plan. Both need to be simple and clear. If my goal is to lose weight, I need to more clearly and concretely define the weight loss. I want to lose 5 pounds in 7 days and a pound a day for the next 10 days. My plan needs to be specific. I will not eat out for the next 3 weeks. I will not drive by the Dunkin’ Donut shop on the way to work.
Third, I need to make the changes in my behavior be simple enough that they can become a habit. How long does it take to form a new habit? Depending on the complexity and degree of difficulty of the activities, four studies have shown that forming a habit takes from about 60 days to 154 days.
Finally, I need to establish a support community to encourage and structure my behaviors. Some circles call this accountability partners, but I am not in support of the term. It gives the impression that there is someone standing over you with a yardstick waiting to smack your fingers when you do wrong. The partner helps you find the resources, courage, and strength to continue your habit.
A Specific Method
Let’s put it this way: Have you ever noticed that when you play golf by yourself, you have some of the best shots and you end up with the best score that you ever remember? Why can’t you ever shoot that well when you are with someone? When you are with someone, their presence keeps you more honest.
So, as we approach the Easter holiday, let’s prepare ourselves for this holy season. First, let’s resolve to change some ideas about how we think about Easter. We are going to look at it from a little different, a little deeper perspective. We will consider a handful of doctrines that build the foundation for our understanding of the Christian faith.
Next, we will do a couple of things to change how we feel about the Easter season. Two of our activities will make a significant difference. On a regular basis, we will develop the habit of praying to God to change our hearts. We will also spend time trying to understand forgiveness from the perspective of others.
Finally, we will resolve to change how we behave. We will set in motion a plan to make some specific changes in your life. You will begin to do things differently. Next, you will build the structure to read the Bible on a regular basis. Then, you will also build a foundation for a regular time with God in prayer. Finally, you will also have a chance to select an area of Christian discipline that you would like to personally improve upon. All of these actions will be done in a way that will build a habit of behavior in your life that will last.
Be specific in your resolve. What changes do you need to make? What difference will it make in your relationships? How can you accomplish the changes? What steps must you take?